Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
