All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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