I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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