I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
