I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
