Non-Jews are for practice
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
