Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
