So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
