so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
