just come out here and I will go home with you...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
