i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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