And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize