but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
