Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize