they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
