My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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