Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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