Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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