Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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