no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
