my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
