Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
