Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize