nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
