I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
