Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
