Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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