Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My breasts were aching with rage.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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