Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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