I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
