so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
