Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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