we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
