she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
