I'm drive I can fine osifer
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
