The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
