If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
