So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
