youre lurking in front of me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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