Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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