things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
