It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
