Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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