Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
