i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
When are your genitals available?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
