garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
