the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
