Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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