Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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