Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
