People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
