...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
