we're blogging at a bar
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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