We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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