direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
