sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
