I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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