i'm signing you up for texting rehab
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
tell me about the fingering
Randomize