I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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